Carnival of Ink
by MissMandS
Summary: During the days Bilbo works at his parents tattoo parlor, following their no judgement policy and enjoying the company of the clients. When he's not there, he's with his trainer Nori in the gym, preparing for his next match as an MMA fighter. The perks of being a fighter don't exactly trump the hassles. It's difficult to find a date when all they can think of is your bloodied face.
1. Chapter 1

"You want to be a fighter?" That is how his mother starts the conversation. Bilbo's head bobs up and down automatically as his voice becomes stuck in his throat. His mother, always the more open one looks a little pale now as she looks over the photos and papers he's printed off about MMA. His father's jaw clenches but he hasn't said no yet or fainted so—Bilbo holds onto his confidence.

"I've wanted to be a fighter since I was eighteen. I've been old enough to do it but I never wanted to do anything without yours and mom's approval. Doing that, it wouldn't feel right. Besides I don't think you would appreciate a call from my trainer saying I'm in a hospital because I got injured in a fight."

"You have a trainer?" Bungo cries and Bilbo gives him a sheepish smile.

"We accidentally found the other?" Belladonna sighs and lays the papers down, ignoring the way that Bungo slowly pales more and more as she looks at Bilbo.

"Okay. I'm okay with this on one condition: on the days, nights, weeks, however you do things. When you're not with your trainer or not preparing for a match, I still want you working here at the tattoo shop. Something for a little extra money." Belladonna smiles as he throws his arms around her neck, babbling 'thank you' all the while. As he pulls away he looks worriedly towards Bungo who still sits silently.

"Will you at least tell me about this trainer of yours that you're working your way towards finding?" Bungo finally asks.

"I kind of already found him; he's been coming into the shop for a number of weeks now. I've been tattooing him to help start paying for my training." Bungo says and motions for Bilbo to bring him in. As Bilbo heads for the door of the shop Bungo looks at Belladonna.

"Oh, don't blame me for this."

"I'm not blaming you. Just blaming the Took side, insanity, comes entirely from your side of the family and Jesus, Mary and Joseph….His hair is shaped like a star." Bungo trails off.

"Mom, dad, this is my trainer Nori. Nori these are my parents Bungo and Belladonna Baggins." Bilbo steps back as the introductions begin, carefully scooping the pictures off the table. His parents approve. They approve. Now he can only hope they approve of Nori.

During the days Bilbo works at his parents tattoo parlor as one of the tattoo artists, following their no judgment policy and enjoying the company of the clients that come in.

And when he's not working there, he's with his trainer Nori in the gym, preparing for his next match as an MMA fighter. The perks of being a fighter don't exactly trump the hassles. It's difficult to find a date when all they can think of is your bloodied face, your hand being held above your head and you rolling around in the grip of another man while you squirm and fight for all you're worth.

* * *

If you don't know what MMA is, it's mixed martial arts and is a full combat sport that is very rough and involves a lot of striking and grasping.

Because we all need some MMA fighter Bilbo in our lives with Nori as his trainer. I will add other relationship and pairings as the story goes on.

As for the matches between Bilbo and opponents, I will put up warnings at the beginnings of those particular chapters if you want to skip them, I can just give you a small recap of what happened. I personally don't think my descriptions are that graphic but everyone has different views so there are always other options available.


	2. Chapter 2

Bilbo barely has a chance to get out of his car before Lindir is wrapping his arms around him, looking very stressed and very anxious as he looks back towards the house with a sigh.

"Is Bofur already drinking?" Bilbo asks as he heads for the backseat of his car.

"No, it's worse. He's not drinking and is instead attempting to help me with everything, meaning he's ruined about five batches of cookies, two things of pasta salad and I can't take any more Bilbo. You have to take him somewhere. Outback to do man stuff, somewhere else in the house to look at man stuff, just take him away from the kitchen." Lindir begs. Bilbo stifles a small snort as he looks at the distress clear on Lindir's face.

"I'm going to have to ask that you refrain from stabbing my best friend in the throat with a steak knife today Lindir. Remember that he's just trying to help and breathe. And yes, I will take him outback to do manly things. And also remember that you love Bofur very much and would be very sad without him here." Lindir sighs, grabbing hold of the beer that Bilbo hands him with a small smile.

Inside the house Bofur is standing in the kitchen, staring forlornly at a batch of blackened cookies. At the sight of Bilbo his face brightens, the flaps of his hat bobbing up and down as he runs towards Bilbo, launching himself across the kitchen. Bofur lets out a sigh, rubbing his stubbly face against the shell of Bilbo's ear as they fall back against the wall.

"Oh, feel the muscles in those arms. I'll tell ye, if I hadn't met Lindir first, I would have gone for ye, Bilbo."

"And he wonders how his sparkling personality alone hasn't won my friends over yet. Bilbo, remember our promise." Lindir says. Bilbo swings Bofur onto his back and heads for the backdoor.

"I love ye! So Lindir is kicking me out of the kitchen huh? Can't handle me anymore?" Bofur asks, digging his heels into Bilbo's sides.

"I can barely handle you Bofur and yes, he's banishing you to the backyard so we can discuss manly things while Lindir attempts to salvage this barbeque." Bilbo deposits him onto the ground in the backyard, popping his back with a sigh. He doesn't even attempt to help Bofur with lighting the grill, sitting back instead and watching instead. He's waiting for the question, waiting for Bofur to ask him that dreaded question.

"Ye know Bilbo,"

"No Bofur."

"Ye didn't even let me finish." Bofur cries but still there's a small smile on his face albeit a little sympathetic this time.

"I don't need to. I've told you before that I'm perfectly happy being single and even though the sight of you and Lindir makes me absolutely nauseous sometimes, I enjoy you two being happy. And it's not like Nori has this tight leash on me that he refuses to let me date anyone, it's my choice." He feels Nori before he sees him. First there's a drink sitting between his legs and then long arms looping themselves loosely around his shoulders and finally Nori is pressing his nose against Bilbo's neck.

"Oh yes, I'm so mean to you. Don't let Bofur know what I did to you last night or else he might just call the police." Bilbo rolls his eyes but doesn't bother pushing him away.

"Did Lindir let you in?" Bofur asks and there's a distinct vibration against his throat as Nori hums, looking anywhere but at Bofur.

"No, not exactly." And from within the house Bilbo hears Lindir shouting and demanding to know who left the front door open.

* * *

The next day sees Bilbo standing barefoot in his kitchen, his brow furrowed with concentration as he carefully dips a strawberry into dark chocolate. Ignoring the forlorn look on Bofur's face he sets the strawberry down on wax paper, reaching for another one as the front door opens.

"Bilbo? Are you up here? Your mother said you might be home…"

"In here Drogo." Bilbo calls and hisses as some chocolate dribbles onto the table. Wordlessly he holds it out to Bofur who accepts it, sucking the chocolate off and tossing the strawberry onto the floor. Drogo steps into the kitchen, looking similar to Bofur. He doesn't even look the least bit disturbed by the strawberry on the floor, stepping over it and joining Bofur, sighing as he lays his head down on the counter.

"Lindir is mad at me. I got drunk last night at our barbeque and made an ass of myself, embarrassed him and myself." Bofur mumbles, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Primula's mad at me because…I don't know. Our car broke down and I couldn't fix it. I told her I would just take it to the mechanic and she broke down crying and told me that nothing was right and to leave."

"Primula is pregnant. Everything is swelling up, her breasts are filling with milk and her hormones are going wild. She's not even mad at you Drogo, just…Pregnant. As for you Bofur, you did make quite an ass out of yourself and it will take more than chocolate covered strawberries to fix it. But you know what Lindir enjoys better than I do. Now both of you idiots stop looking so miserable, get over here and drizzle white chocolate on these strawberries for your significant others." Sliding over forks and a bowl of white chocolate Bilbo gives them meaningful looks and walks from the kitchen.

Reaching into his pocket he digs for his phone and finds a text from Nori. He barely scans over the beginning of it before there's a body falling against his and a forehead pressing against the back of his neck.

"How do you keep getting into my house?" Bilbo demands as he twists out of Nori's grip.

"Well you don't have very good locks on the door; don't respond to my texts, you are just asking for me to…Enter your house. Not break in, I would never break in but to enter your house and find out why you are not answering."

"That is the most stalker like thing I've ever heard."

"Yeah well, when you start answering text messages then I'll stop being your stalker but until that day…I'm going to enter your house. Besides you're my only client that I stalk if it makes you feel any better."

"Why are you stalking me?" Bilbo asks as they walk back into the kitchen where Bofur and Drogo diligently drizzle white chocolate over strawberries. Nori plucks one of the wax paper and in similar fashion to Bofur, sucks the chocolate off it before he pulls it from his mouth with an obscene pop.

"I came over to tell you that I've scheduled a late night training session from eight o' clock to elven tonight. You'll be working with me, Dwalin and maybe Fili. That and I've taken the liberty of setting you up a booth at an upcoming event. Your mom was talking about it, it's for tattoos but I thought what better chance to showcase you and your tattoos than some photos?"

"Are you sure that you weren't just looking for an excuse to see him shirtless in some skimpy shorts?" Nori ignores Bofur's question, grabbing another strawberry and popping it into his mouth.

"So what do you say? Photo-shoot after our workout session?" Somehow the idea of being sweaty to go along with his photos of bloody doesn't seem all that appealing. But the gleam in Nori's eyes says that he doesn't really care to hear it.


End file.
